Branching out, because I'm the original hegemonster.

I started a facebook group for my cause, because this kid is not taking the situation seriously. Not that there's anything serious about facebook, but I figure it's good exposure and I'll be able to organize with more people because everyone is always on facebook. It's the thing to do these days.
This is my defense.

THE ORIGINAL HEGEMONSTER

Recently, I discovered that an adversary of mine from the past had stolen a a piece of my intellectual property. I say piece because I have plenty of it, if you know what I mean. The property in question is one of my internet personae, a name I've used since its creation in 2003, during a moment of clarity in my sociology/global economics class because I was thinking of Pokemon the "pocket monster," and because we were discussing hegemony. Thus, "hegemonster." And it's been mine since, as my myspace url, my blog url, everyfuckin thing, including makeoutclub (say what?!) and livejournal.
To me, his unauthorized and unwanted use of my name is ludicrous, but it also really pisses me off because he was a complete asshole to me in college. Yea, sophomore year, it's been that long and I haven't talked to him since. Until, I found his little movie blog and decided to call him out.

What a little turd!

FAKE ASS BRUCE WILLIS

I fuckin can't believe it! I just did a google search for the word "hegemonster" to see what would come up, thinking that all my old webpages (facebook, makeoutclub, whatever) would show up because I've been using that name for years, since 2003 when I created it in my crazy sociology/global economics class. GUESS WHAT? Some lame ass dude I stupidly had a crush on (sophomore year of college) named a movie he made "hegemonster." Who else would even think of a name like that? It was my word. MINE! And I've been using it since I made it up, as my email address, myspace url, everything. I'm SOOOO pissed.
This is INTELLECTUAL THIEVERY, my dears. I could take this motherfucker to court if I so chose.

But, you know what? Anyone who knows me knows that I'm the ORIGINAL HEGEMONSTER. And anyone else who even thinks of using that name is a phony unoriginal asshole.
Whatever. I don't fight. I don't argue. I just hit that bitch with a bottle.

So, the moral of the story is, if you happen to see some skinny twerp walking around with his fixed gear bike pretending to be cool or whatever, punch his fuckin lights out. It's a one in a hundred chance in Philly that it's the right guy.