There are some things that plague me and I wish I could write about them, but I'm too afraid. I'm afraid to put those thoughts on paper because that would mean admitting that they are real. I know what happened and I remember everything in great detail, but to give life to stories that I've been trying to forget is very intimidating to me. Sure, it could be therapeutic to uncork those memories, and perhaps writing them down will make whatever problems I think exist seem like not such a big deal, but it still freaks me out.
One other thing I'm worried about in exposing myself in my writing is the would-be audience's reaction to my truthfulness-- what will they think of me? I don't want to put myself out there, so to speak, only to be a laughing-stock embarrassment or (even worse) have the people I know think less of me. That's what really gets me. This is all speculation, though, and my embarrassment is dependent upon my writing getting published and people actually reading it-- so what do I really have to fear?
It's funny how life's biggest hurdles are usually self-induced. All I have to do is get over myself.
3 comments:
I used to feel that way all the time...still do, occasionally. I was very scared of writing about the child abuse I dealt with in my past. But once I wrote about it, I felt relieved, and got good responses to it, which makes me feel like it was helpful...you'd be surprised how many people go through the same things.
The truth is sometimes a good way to connect to other people :)
I totally understand...but stay strong, writing does help healing. Writing about my life has helped me greatly - I hope it help you too.
Making a story valuable or interesting is the goal, even if you need to truthfully portray yourself in a less than flattering light SOMETIMES in order to make a point or humanize the tale. Making yourself the butt of a joke within a story is okay too.
But there is a difference between honesty and wisdom. Why be completely honest in a world where practically nobody is completely honest all the time?
And why would you ever write something --even if true --that could be construed or cited by others as a reason to discredit you or to cast doubt on your value as a person?
Or, for that matter, why state a personal opinion if that truthful opinion hurts somebody else?
"Yes. those pants DO make you look rather fat," may be a true answer to an asked question, but is it a wise statement? Wearing something else will -- in all likelihood -- not make that person look less fat. Why not let that person enjoy those pants?
Honesty. Diplomacy. Discretion. All very useful tools when used correctly, and at the correct time.
To paraphrase a wise old sage of the underworld... "Never tell anybody outside the Family what you're thinking again."
Post a Comment