Girl fight, sad tweet, and outrageously funny headlines.

Image by JohnONolan via Flickr

I had another wacky dream last night/this morning. I was at a party with some friends, my sister, and my boyfriend. My sister was sitting on a roof overlooking a dance floor, where my boyfriend was standing and chatting with some chick I know. She was flirting with him hard-core, and my sister pointed it out to me. I went down there, pushed Ben out of the way, and proceeded to knock that heifer down to the ground. Then I referred to my Muay Thai fighting skills to beat the crap out of her. I was furious, especially because I told her earlier in the dream to leave my man alone. After beating her to a bloody pulp, I left her there for dead, and dusted off my knuckles.

No one messes with me or my man, unless they wanna have a chat with Rita and Tootsie-- my right and left fists.

Sorry, I just had to get that out. I woke up this morning feeling very confused and it took me a while to realize that what happened in the dream did not, in fact, happen in real life. It was reassuring to know that I didn't just almost kill someone, but also a little frustrating. Wiling out on that betch was a great stress relief, at least in my dream.

You may find it funny to know that I've never actually been in a fight in real-life. I used to get picked on (all the goddamn time) in grade-school and some of the girls would pull my hair or push me around, but I never fought back. I don't know why, but it could be a reason why I'm so anxious to fight these days. Well, I don't really want to get into a fight with another person, unless it's in a ring and declared a "fair one." I don't need some idiot stabbing me in the gut just because I want to punch someone.

I'm not a super violent person, honestly! But I did study Muay Thai, and I do enjoy watching UFC matches. So what?

For Day 11 of my ongoing challenge, 30 Tweets to 30 Peeps, I am to address a deceased person who I wish I could talk to. When I was little, my dad would take our family to Manchester, England to visit my Granddad and Gran. I still have very vivid memories of playing in their house as a child, listening to my Granddad tell stories and jokes and play the fiddle, helping Gran in the kitchen and getting hollered at for watching "rubbish" ghost shows on television. I'm crying as I type this.

@Gran&Granddad: I wish you were still around and I miss you both. There is a lot I want to share with you, but I can't. I just hope that you are proud of me

Okay, to lighten the mood, I am going to share some hilarious headlines that my boyfriend e-mailed to me this morning, courtesy of The Chive (a shoot-off of The Onion, or a rip-off?). Enjoy!


So, I get the pun "Close Shave," "Close Save," but in this case it does not work. At all.


She's just really happy for her lonely dad. Wouldn't you be?


Hahaha, WHO wrote this headline?


What happens when the Male Jacks do well?


Meh, I don't feel sorry for him. He was asking for it.