Choose now, for tomorrow polls are closed!

Just wanted to let my readers know that TOMORROW I will be announcing the winning topic that you all helped me pick, also known as choose your own adventure! If you didn't get a chance to vote for which topic you want to read about, click here and do it now!  You only have a few hours left!!!

I have a random request of the people who I have sent zines to: would you be willing to take a photo of yourself posing with the zine? I'm going to make a project out of it and I would appreciate your cooperation. If you don't feel comfortable with taking a photo of yourself because you don't want me to invade your privacy, no worries-- I'm not trying to blow up your spot. I'm just really happy that all the copies of the HORROR issue have been sold and now I'm getting a bunch of submissions for the next issue. You all rule and I want to celebrate!







I'm posting my Bloggerstock entry here because only one of my readers commented on it. Was it because what I had to say wasn't very interesting, or was it because no one was really blog-hopping this month? I'm not sure. You be the judge.

For this month's installment of Bloggerstock, we were asked to tell the world the things for which we are NOT thankful. If I made a complete and comprehensive list of all the shit that pisses me off I don't think you'd have the time to read it and frankly I don't feel the need to spend a hundred pages ranting about all of the stupid things people do and why it irritates me. No. That's not what the season of Thanksgiving is about. It's about gathering around a table full of good food with your friends and family and as the wine kicks in the conversation starts to get heated and finally everyone's chattin S and cornbread is being flung across the table. Am I right? So here's a brief list of the things I am not thankful for:

1) People who go out of their way to be a dick. This one lady bit my head off when I asked her to "please hold the door" for the elevator at my old office building. She had just gotten in the elevator as I was entering the building and it only took her a second to hold the door for me to get in. She huffed and puffed until she got to her floor, and she said something nasty which I shrugged off and don't remember. Maybe she was having a bad day, but that's still no reason to take it out on a complete stranger. I've also experienced a lot of random and unwarranted rudeness in my years working in customer service jobs where it was my duty to be kind and helpful to everyone. People take advantage of kindness, or interpret courtesy for insincerity. People are weird.

2) People who hurt/are mean to animals. Animals are so wonderful. I don't think you should kill an animal unless you are going to eat it, and I believe we need to protect endangered species, like the Big Cats that poachers are killing off all over the world. It's wrong, and it's very sad to me that certain animals that I love may not be around for much longer, through no fault of their own. People need to get a grip and stop massacring wildlife.

3) Insects and grime. Yuck. Nothing is a bigger turn-off for me than a dirty kitchen or swarms of flies. Soooo nasty.

4) Pimples. I really thought that by now I wouldn't have to worry about getting zits. I guess that was just a teenage fantasy, that once you reach adulthood pimples become a thing of the past. Nope.

5) Being broke. I'm used to being thrifty and have never been much of a big spender. I think my biggest purchase ever was an iPod four years ago. Not spending money isn't a problem, but it's nice to know that there's money available if I need it. It really sucks that I can't put any money away for savings because I have no money in the first place. Pretty much all of my funds go to bills and student loan payments. It really sucks to feel desperate.

6) Infomercials and TV channels that stop showing actual programs at midnight. What is this, the 1970s? Why is it that people who stay up past the late shows have nothing to watch on television besides advertisements about losing weight and removing unsightly back and ass hair? Us night owls wanna watch shows! Who makes these decisions about program schedules, I'd really like to know so I can tell them that while they may go to bed at eight o'clock on the dot every night, that not everyone else does. Some of us like to kick back and relax to the soothing sounds and visual delights of the boob tube. Why won't you appease us?

So, that's my list, folks. I could keep going but something inside me is saying that you probably have other things going on in your life and reading my blog isn't a top priority. It's all right, I understand. I'll just go cry in the corner now...

Bloggerstock ain't thankful

Hello, and welcome to November's installment of Bloggerstock, a time of blogging, snogging, hogging and flogging. The following is a post written by the wonderful Mandy Moore of The REAL MandyMoore, not to be confused with that fake bitch who used to be on television a while back but isn't cool anymore. Before I hand the reins over to Mandy, I would just like to say, as your Tsaritsa, that I do not agree at all with Ms. Moore on the topic posted below. You can keep your computer-generated images if it makes you happy, but leave Herb and Rex alone! And that's all I will say about that. If you're looking for my post, check it out here at Muffin Logic.

Take it away, Mandy!

HI! (waving enthusiastically like Forest on his boat when he spotted Lt. Dan.)

My name is Mandy Moore. And I'm from The REAL MandyMoore. Well, I'm not technically from there, but that is my blog's name, as well as my name and The Tsaritsa will attest that the other bitch stole my identity.

November = Thanksgiving; where typically normal people give thanks. But here at Bloggerstock where we're all badass bloggers who whore each other out on each other's blogs, we don't do things traditional-like. Nope not us. While I am thankful for most things in my life, I'm not gonna sugar coat the cake. I'm going to shit on it. Because life has had a terrible having of vomiting diarrhea on my head.

Besides, I'd be willing to bet old Tom Turkey isn't thankful for getting his head decapitated, so this post is dedicated to him and his ancestors.

Things I'm not thankful for by The REAL MandyMoore:

Ah fuck it. I'm not going to make a list. That's a cop out. Besides, I'd forget things. Because basically everything pisses me off like unwanted opinions, dirty diapers, and Roger Goodell.

Now I could go all advocate on your asses and get into the great debate which you never want to get into with me: animal breeding, but that's no fun and it probably won't make you like me, and I want us all to be friends and braid each other's hair here.

I've already gone into extensive detail on on my own blog so much that 'I hate birds' has it's own tagline. That's been done.

So I'll give you something that I have not been thankful for since I was a youngin':

Claymation. (Also baked beans. But we'll stick with claymation.)

Yep. I said it. That shit is fucking scary as hell, yo. And my fear of it all started with Gumby. 

Stay away from me Gumby.

There is absolutely nothing not scary, or relatively trustworthy or endearing about Gumby and his...pony? It's panic attack inducing so lets move to Exhibit B.

Oh hey...Justin Bieber?

These Christmas movies always rubbed me the wrong way. To this day, I still cannot watch them or even tell you what the other ones are because they just give me the heebie-jeebies. I mean look at dude. Not only does he bear a striking resemblance to the Beibster, he looks like he's ready to shank Rudolph. He doesn't look friendly. He has that "AHA bitch! You trusted me and I lured you into the forest with cookies and now I'm going to stab you in your nose and use your glowy blood to make my man lipstick darker and be the belle of the elf rave later this evening so I can get high on Ecstasy and do this to this ho:"

Black Dahlia Style







I don't know where I've seen this dude before, but he has so many defects that even his dog is ashamed of him.







Looks like something out of a toilet. Singing does not make claymation cuter either.

And I have no idea who these fine citizens of Clay City may be but I can't say I'm upset about my lack of knowledge:

Way to attempt to turn children off from both Jesus-related holidays.

I'm pretty sure that the sole purpose of claymation is to scare the shit out of children. And for that, I am not thankful for. At all. I will do everything in my power to keep my daughter from clay exposure. God help me if they come back out with this disaster:

Thanksgiving weekend fashions

I already told you that I recently became obsessed with this fashion site, Chictopia, and have been spending/wasting inordinate amounts of time browsing through posted photos of other ladies' ensembles and commenting on them. How do I get sucked into these things, I wonder? I love the interaction, I guess, and once I become bored with one social networking site I move on to another. I went from writing restaurant reviews (remember when I used to Yelp? ha!) to posing and posting photos of myself wearing different outfits.

It's really awesome because sometimes I'll put together, what I think is, a really killer ensemble, but then my plans change or it's too cold out I have to keep my heavy coat on even in the restaurant and no one gets to see the look. Don't you just hate that? But now, I have a reason to take photos of myself in my living room without feeling like a weirdo (because so many other ladies are doing it, too) or like a complete narcissist (only partially).

On a completely different note, don't forget to vote for which topic I should blog about next on this blog! You've got a variety to choose from, and feel free to submit your own topic! I'll be counting the votes sometime this week, so make sure you vote soon! 
Click here to vote!

Onto the fashions! Here is a preview of some of the outfits I wore over the weekend. Check out my Chictopia page for more photos (I'd post them all, but I don't want my readers to think that my ego is THAT inflated).


Morning work-from-home look featuring "Crazy Eddie Insane!" t-shirt.



Blue faux suede jacket and cranberry mini skirt that I wore for going out with Evy.



Empire waist dress, winter coat, and cobalt blue stockings which I wore for a luncheon on Sunday.


If you happen to join the site, let me know so I can comment on your ensembles! Yay!

Turkey lurkey

I hope you all had a happy, healthy, and relaxing Thanksgiving. Ben and I cooked for just the two of us and had a lovely little meal all to ourselves (though we did give a taste of the turkey to Sookie). I had my taters, which is my favorite part of the big dinner, green beans, a squash/sweet potato mash that Ben made, salad, guacamole, a baguette, pumpkin pie, the whole works.

We didn't buy a whole turkey, because I knew that would be way too much (thinking back to my childhood, when after Thanksgiving my family would eat turkey leftovers for what seemed like months, a whole turkey didn't seem like a good idea) so we got a roast which was a combination of white and dark meat-- which we didn't find out about until today after we had eaten all the white meat and only had the dark left for sandwiches. Boo. I like wings, but I pretty much only like white meat, so Ben will be in charge of the turkey remains.

We also didn't have cranberry sauce, but we did have dried cranberries which I snacked on while watching TV and digesting all that food.

Here is a photo of what our dinner looked like:


After dinner, I asked Ben to snap some quick photos of me in my Thanksgiving dinner outfit so that I could them on Chictopia.com, my new little internet obsession/time-waster. Chictopia is a social networking site for fashion fiends where users can share photos of themselves wearing their cutest outfits, and also post photos of the things that inspire their look. It's pretty fun to check out the ensembles some of these style mavens come up with, and I figure it's good to be a part of as many relevant networks for my own exposure. No, not that kind of exposure... even though I was considering being a Suicide Girl at one point.

All of the labels attached to this post begin with an "eff" sound. Coincidence?

Here is what I wore to Thanksgiving dinner. Ben took a much more casual route. I won't say what, but would it kill him to put some pants on every once in a while? :)



How was your Thanksgiving? Did you dress up? Time for some leftover mashed potatoes, yum!

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving from all of us at the Tsaritsa sez! What do you think of that cool sign with the pretzels spelling out "Happy Thanksgiving?" My dad made it last year and I took it home after we visited for the holiday.

Don't forget to vote in my contest to choose your own adventure! I've decided to extend voting and keep it open over the Thanksgiving holiday so that everyone has a chance to boss me around. I will announce the winning topic on Monday, November 29.

Also, I am accepting all submissions for the next zine. The topic is dreams and I am sure you have something to say about that. We've all had crazy dreams, whether or not we were asleep at the time. I'm excited to see more of what you can do. I've already received some lovely photographs from another blogger. Submit!

What are your Thanksgiving plans? I will be cooking a small feast tomorrow and celebrating at home with Ben and Sookie. I hope you have a great holiday and eat lots of good food, including plenty of pumpkin pie, and party it up with friends and family. Don't do anything too stupid, though. I know it's the holidays but that doesn't mean you get a dumb-ass pass (this means don't drink and drive, fools!).

Here are two photos that don't have much to do with each other...

Choose your own adventure!

Hey readers! I hope you're not getting too frustrated with me and these half-assed posts I keep writing. The thing is, I found myself an unpaid internship (YES-- that Craigslist ad totally worked!) writing web content for a company that specializes in optimizing the usability and findability of retail sites. It's pretty challenging to write content on such a technical and complex subject, but it's also a lot of fun to give my mental muscles a good stretching. So, I've been busy with this internship and my blog has been taken a spot on the back burner and I apologize to all of you for that.

I want to make a proposition to you readers-- let's do something interactive. How would you like to choose what I write about in a future blog posting? It seems like it could be a good idea, if enough people get involved and vote. Here are your choices:

1) The time I met Jason Schwartzman and was featured in a Phantom Planet music video (at age 16).

2) How I met Ben, and found love.

3) The night I spent sleeping outside of an airport in Italy.

4) Why Jesse "the Body" Ventura would make an excellent president.

5) On being an outcast.

6) My thoughts on the prison system in the United States.


Those are the options, and I guess I could also take requests if the topics posted above don't appeal to you. How more interactive can a blog get?! VOTE! Let me know what you want to hear about in the comments! Voting will remain open until, let's say, Tuesday Friday-- but I may extend it.

In fashion news, I finally received the tank top I ordered from my blog friend, LURKDAT, who you may remember from my interview back in October. She sent me a bonus tank top, too, which was incredibly gracious of her, along with a whole stack of tagged-up stickers to post around town. Holla! If you like the shirts featured below, please go check out her online store!





The shirt reads: "Eat Louis, Shit Gucci, Breathe Chanel" but I thought for the longest time it said "Eat Lotus" which could also make sense (well, in my mind it makes sense).


"Swiper, stop swiping!"


Close-up of Swiper, stealing my monies.

News bits: 11/17 edition

Here are some news items that have caught my attention, and by "catching my attention" I mean that it shocked me enough to jot down a note while watching reality television. I'm partially kidding, but I do believe that is how many people get the news, if the news even shows up on their radar at all. Here are four news stories that either make me want to bang my head on a brick wall or bang my head on some sheet metal.


Drilling for shale:

Chemicals used in "fracking" during shale acquisition are poisonous, though the industry Halliburton won't tell the public which chemicals are used. These poisonous chemicals have a habit of leaking into the water supplies of communities and making people sick (some folks can even light their water on fire, it has so many adulterants in it), due to a lack of regulation in the industry. Recently, a large number of cows died due to drinking the poisoned water. The whole thing is a short-sighted, especially when safety precautions are not taken by the industry-- great, we have a twenty year supply of natural gas in the United States, but at what cost? Thanks for deregulating the energy industry, Dick Cheney. If I could see you today, I would punch all of your teeth out, you Batman-villain-looking motherf*cker.


Refudiate:

Sarah Palin's non-word has been listed by the Oxford English Dictionary as 2010's "Word of the Year." Idiots everywhere rejoice. I heard a rumor that the definition for refudiate is "the ability to talk out of your ass and have well regarded institutions give you brownie points for being a moron."


Punkin Chunkin:

Why are we throwing and wasting food when so many people every day are going hungry in the United States, let alone the world? I know that physics is really exciting for some people and everyone loves a catapult, but why not "chunk" something that isn't edible, like rocks?


People against male circumcision:

I must say that I really have no opinion regarding male circumcision (and why should I?) except that it should never ever be equated to the genital mutilation that is forced upon women in certain parts of the world. Don't want to get your baby boy circumcised? Fine, then don't do it. But don't go around spreading fear about something that is essentially a non-issue by comparing it to the sexist atrocity of female circumcision. Thanks.

New zine issue: DREAMS

HELLO FOLKS!! I am now accepting all submissions for a new issue of my zine,  Be About It! The topic this time around is DREAMS, so take a moment and think about what that word means to you, then write something, draw something, take a photo of something, whatever, and send it to me at:  

alexandra.naughton@gmail.com 

Deadline for submissions is January 4, 2011 sometime in late January late February because I want you all to have enough time. I may extend the deadline again, but for now you should get crack-a-lackin!

The last two issues were so wonderfully good, I'm really excited to see what you all come up with this go-around! If you do decide to contribute to the zine I will not only be your friend for life, but I will also mail you a copy of the zine along with a few copies so you can show off your awesomeness to all your friends. And for those of you who don't wish to contribute, but still want to check out what Be About It is all about, please feel free to make a two dollar donation and I will send you a copy of the zine! I still have a few copies of last month's HORROR issue left over, but they won't last for long!



Sleeping Sookie. Do kitties chase moths in their dreams?

Kitty burrito!

What's that lurking in the dark? Is it a monster? A demon? With green glowing eyes, it must be evil...



... or not. It's just Sookie, my adorable little kitty who has a knack for finding the best hiding spots. Ben rolled up the carpet in the living room so he could practice his Kendo moves with his bare feet on the wooden floor. Sookie didn't even wait until Ben had finished securing the carpet before she jumped right in and nestled into a comfortable spot. Ben called me over and I grabbed my camera-- who can resist a kitty burrito?

It's in the bag!

What's in my bag?


Nothing too exciting, so don't get your hopes up. There are no magical bunnies or lucky golden charms in this tote bag, though it does feature a really cute kitty cat print on the top of the bag. I tend to carry around a lot of junk that I think I might need when I go out to run errands or take my daily constitutional. In addition to the heaps of crap I schlep around with me, I always like to have my camera on hand in case a photo opportunity shows itself when I'm out-- you just never know! But since I can't take a photo of my own camera, unless I'm shooting in the mirror, you'll just have to imagine that my little pink camera is in the mix.




In addition to my wallet and keys, I also like to carry around a composition book (in case inspiration happens to strike me when I'm out), a book to read if I find myself waiting in line or sitting on an extended bus ride (right now it's RZA's The Tao of Wu), sunglasses, lip gloss(es), bandages (sometimes I need them for my wounded ankles if I'm wearing high heels or other crazy shoes), chewing gum, pen(s), cell phone, and a hair tie.




A lady can never carry around too much lip gloss. Nor is there such a thing as too many pens.




Yes, I know I'm probably one of the few people left in my generation who still hasn't succumbed to smart phone mania. Whatever. Only the people who have extremely busy business lives are the ones who need smart phones, in my opinion. Everyone else just has one because it's trendy or because they're addicted to the internet. No one needs to be on Twitter twenty-four hours a day, not even celebrities. It's so hard to have a normal conversation with most anyone these days because they're glued to their phones, texting and emailing and instant messaging. Sheesh! Smart phones will be the end of us! Mark my words.




In other news, yesterday was my 150th post, and today I was given an award by the lovely EmDottie. Those two tidbits are not related, but I figured I would let you know that I neglected to tell you about the momentous occasion yesterday, or maybe I didn't notice. No matter. The award is called the "I Don't Give A F*ck" Award, and EmDottie must have chosen me for my badassedness. I thank her kindly for her generosity and for her keen skills in detecting ferocity!

I'm passing on this award to:

Jess of not your average joan of archetypal patterns because she is hilarious. And a badass.

Christina of Christina in Wonderland because she is also hilarious. And also a badass.

Kat Storm of Mascara and Microchips because she is hilarious in addition to being a total badass.

Karaoke blog ring-around-the-rosey

Hey, everyone. We're doing something a little different, a little funky, today. A few of us twenty-something bloggers got it into our heads to videotape ourselves singing and dancing along to one of our favorite songs from the 1990s. Sounds fun, right? Well, maybe not if you're the shy type, but being the ham that I am, I got to making my video pretty much immediately. And being the narcissistic prick that I am, I uploaded it on youtube so that I could watch it over and over again.

If you want to watch me ridiculously perform "I'm A Player" by the KGB you can view it at Christina in Wonderland. While you're there, check out her blog! Christina's an awesome lady. Don't forget to leave a comment telling me how you think I'm such a great singer. You know it's true. Tsaritsa out, here's Erin from Post Modern Talk-o who is gracing my blog with her lovely presence, in video form. Take it away!

Greetings loyal Tsaritsa viewers, I hope you enjoy my drunken rendition of "What I got" by Sublime. I was going to do "Caress me down" because me drunkly singing in spanglish was so much fun...but then I read the english translation. Lets just say a respectable gal like me doesn't claim to like panochita more than punk rock or reggae. Mucho gracious to Sara Swears A Lot for setting this up! Don't forget to come over to my blog and watch Rishita tear it up!

Photos I've been meaning to post

Some of these are new but a lot of these photos are old and getting cranky from waiting so long in my to-be-posted box. These photos are a bunch of show boats-- they want to be seen, damn it! Arranged with no particular rhyme or reason in mind, please enjoy the fruits of my labored camera.




Artwork by Charpu from My Window Gallery.



Ben dipping a brown sugar cube in his coffee.



No one uses pay phones anymore. This one even has a phone book. So sad...



Crows or ravens, I'm not sure. We have an extended family of them living in our neighborhood.



A prime example of "crap graffiti."



I've been noticing a lot of dumping recently. I don't know what these people's problems are and why they like to leave their garbage out on the corner on a non-trash day, where it sits for weeks sometimes. I can't stand irresponsible people.



"Swear words."



This pumpkin is parallel-parked.



Isn't this wind-up toy amazing? It was just sitting out on a stoop, unattended. I wonder if anyone stole it.



Graffiti I can appreciate.



Wise words: "Stay fly or get flown over."



Behold, the WIZARD TURTLE!!!






Um... when I get a fortune cookie I'd really prefer it to not have stalkerish undertones.



I wouldn't call this "good" graffiti, but at least they're trying.



And that's it!