”Roll it up, light it up, smoke it up… inhale, exhale” random-ass survey

My blog-friend, EmDottie, tagged me in a survey, what we are calling a "random ass survey," which I am expected to fill out and pass along to several other lucky bloggers. Don't ask about the title of this post, it was assigned to me and has nothing to do with the survey!


Got cream?

Here it is:

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?

My kitty, Sookie, is my child. I love her so much, everything she does is so damn adorable. Even when she's biting at my ankles or running around the apartment like a crazy person, she's still cute. I personally prefer kittens over children. They don't talk back, and they don't need to go to college.

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?

Gonna have to agree with EmDottie and say "receive a crap-load of cash." That would be a friggin dream come true for me. Finally, I could pay off my student loans, focus on the work that makes me happy, and not have to struggle to pay my bills ever again. Isn't that everyone's dream?

3. What is the one thing most hated by you?

People who are inconsiderate. You know the type: litterbugs, people who talk on their phones while driving, people who are rude to strangers for no reason. All those people fit under the general category of "dickhead." I try my best to stay away from those types.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

Pay off debt, buy a house, save more than half of it, and dress fabulously.

5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?

Taking a nice long walk and listening to some energizing or angry music, like the Wu-Tang Clan, Eminem or Keyshia Cole, usually helps me lift a bad mood.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

It is a blessed feeling to be loved, but being able to completely love someone is also a blessing.

7. What is your bedtime routine?

Watch some dumb television, drink water, brush my teeth, put on t-shirt to sleep in, turn the television off, kiss my boyfriend "goodnight," turn off the lights. Not too interesting.

8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?

You can read all about it right here.

9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?

I would love to watch any of my favorite rappers/producers compose a beat or work out their lyrics. That would be hot.

10. What kinds of books do you read?

I prefer non-fiction, because I like to stay in reality and the implausible really irritates me when I read (don't even get me started on the fantasy genre). But I also like Stephen King. Go figure.

11. Where do you see yourself in ten years time?

Employed?

12. What’s your fear?

Being destitute/alone. That thought doesn't preoccupy me, but it would suck.

13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?

No. I have no desire to go into space, and you'll have to pry these french fries from my cold, dead hands.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married and poor?

How about in love and middle-class?

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

Go to the bathroom, wash my hands, and then I feed my cat.

16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?

Have him shave more often.

17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?

Magdalena. I've always liked that name. Also, Anastasia.

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?

It really depends what it is. But honestly, I wouldn't date or be friends with someone who would do something horrible to me.

19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?

Salad with tuna and croutons? I have no idea, six months is a long time to go on eating the same thing repeatedly. But at least with a salad you're getting healthy vitamins, and I could put different things in the salad to add nutrients.

*******

And now to pass this survey onto some unsuspecting victims, I mean bloggers...

-- Cleopatra Jones from Pillow Talk is Extra. Your title is: "Let me clear my throat, because I think I swallowed a goldfish."

-- Jess from Not Your Average Joan of Archetypal Patterns. Your title is: "How I stopped drinking coffee and learned to love the bong."

-- Ashley from After Nine to Five. Your title is: "Quit gossiping and shine my shoes!"

-- Kat Storm from Mascara & Microchips. Your title is: "Get your big nose outta my rearview mirror!"

-- Falen aka Thundercat from Colorful Rants of a Fed Up Sista. Your title is: "Can they really do that on television?"

Yes I just made all of those titles up. They are all pretty nonsensical. Anyway, it's your turn to do a survey! TAG!!

Haha, you guys are it!!!!

Once you finish the questions, you get to tag five people! Let me know if you did it!!! What was your favorite question? Even if you weren’t tagged, you can participate!

Mac World and Red Hot Riding Hood

Mac World is this week and Ben and I have been going crazy just trying to get all of our materials in order. You probably will not see too much of me this week, as I'll be busy working the booth. I'm actually pretty excited to go to Mac World and flirt with all the nerds so they buy our products. I'm the eye candy, and I guess I'm okay with being objectified if it means Alphyn Industries makes money.

It's possible that I'll have time to check in on your blogs and leave comments, but if you notice a blackhole in the Twittersphere due to my lack of participation then I genuinely apologize. But I'll be back, no worries. Mac World is only this week.

Because I don't have the time or energy to write a full blog post, let me just relate an anecdote to you. Below is a photograph of a print that Ben and I picked up on one of our trips to wine country.



It's a wolf and a redhead taking a ride on a motorcycle through Sonoma, by an artist and very nice lady named Judy Theo. We chatted a bit with Judy when we stopped in her gallery to look around-- it was actually the orange tree and the statues made of metal scraps outside in the yard in front of her gallery that drew us in. She told us about her spirit animal, the wolf, which is featured in many of her paintings and I asked her is she had seen the Tex Avery cartoon, Red Hot Riding Hood. She hadn't, but she wrote it down. The cartoon is from the 1940s, but it's still friggin hilarious. Tex Avery was always known for being a little out there, not afraid to push the envelope. Please enjoy!

Someone thinks I'm stylish! *blushes*

So, I received a Stylish Blogger Award from two blogs! Yup, that's right. I said two, betches! Christina in Wonderland and the Jet Setting Divas were lovely enough to pass this fashionable award on to moi.



Thank you, my dears! It's been a crazy couple of weeks. Here's why.

Ben and I went to Las Vegas in the middle of the week to attend the annual Shot Show at the Sands and spent the two days that we were there bustling about from meeting to meeting. We went so that we could meet up with a bunch of his contacts in the textile industry to discuss our plans for the future of Alphyn Industries.


The Tsaritsa does not condone violence, but couldn't resist posing with this Smith & Wesson. I do want to learn how to shoot, just for the sake of it, but I still stand by my point that buying a gun should require an extensive background check. Every time.

It was a pretty interesting crowd at the Show, lots of men, lots of beer guts, it smelled like farts in some of the ballrooms (all those high-protein diets), and as a first-timer I was completely engrossed in taking it all in. I didn't have time to go online or anything, and when we got back home our internet was down so I had to call Comcast and sort it out, which they did superbly. Our wireless router from Cisco also wasn't working so Comcast connected me over to Cisco Linksys, and boy did I want to smack the crap out of the smarmy moron on the other line. We just bought the router a few months ago and have been having some issues with it. This is not the first time our internet's gone down since we bought it, and it actually seems to be happening quite frequently, which I explained to the Cisco customer service representative.

I gave her the serial number on the device and after a few minutes (she kept saying "please wait a few moments" which drives me crazy because a moment isn't something you can measure in time, but whatever) she told me that she could not help me. She told me that my ninety days of free customer service had elapsed and that I would have to figure it out. "Bullshit. This is utter bullshit," I said to her, but it was no use. Ben decided this morning to fiddle around with the router and got it up and running after calling his friend, a computer technician. Seriously, fuck Cisco. Customer service is not a luxury, it's a standard that consumers expect. To not offer it after a certain amount of time is a terrible business practice.

Anyway, enough of my excuses, here is the challenge! The rules are that I have to share seven things about myself. I think instead of just listing seven random things about myself, I'll give you a more cohesive list of things that are going on in my life right now, as I type this entry. Current, yes. Captivating, probably not.

1) I'm busy working on two collages that will be mailed as prizes to the winners in my Pay It Forward post. I'm really excited about making them perfect and worthy of your bloggyness!

2) Every day is a challenge to create a new look with the clothes that exist in my closet. It's fun, though. I'm super broke, so buying new items is not an option, unless of course I find a great deal at the thrift store. It's the time to scrimp and save these days, but I still strive to be stylish.

3) I try to find beauty in everyday objects.



4) I just found out that my unemployment claim has run out, and now I have to apply for emergency unemployment compensation. And billionaires and millionaires across America got a tax cut. Sometimes I can't believe our president is a Democrat.

5) The next issue of Be About It, my zine, is coming out soon and I am still accepting submissions! The theme is "dreams" so please send me your writing and artwork!! I'd love to include it!

6) I'm hoping someone decides to buy this cute belt I listed in the Swap section of Chictopia. Knock on wood.

7) I'm taking more time to breathe, smile, and relax. I feel so much happier.


What seven things are going on in your life right now? I will open this award up to anyone who wishes to accept it. I love all of my readers, anyway, you are all lovely and stylish! Grab the button up at the top, put it on your blog, and tell me what's happening in your neck of the woods!! <3

Style Update: fine threads, from punk to maxi glam

You know I love to dress up, right? For a while I had the famous and highly contagious plague and I wasn't able to leave the bed, let alone get dressed up to leave the house, so there has been a mild dearth of style posts on this blog lately. Well, have no fear for I have returned wearing my most chic super hero cape. Okay, so it's not a cape (though I kinda wish I had one, they're in vogue right now), but it's a jacket, and a warm one at that! On to the clothes!!

Ripped Jeans


I took these photos myself using a timer and a tripod. They aren't the greatest photos, but it gives you a good idea of my outfit. The jeans I've had for several years now and have taken it upon themselves to fall apart at the knees. I decided to make the jeans even more grunge by dragging a pair of scissors over the thighs of the pants. The sneakers belong to my little sister, but I have no intention of returning them!




Turquoise Necklace


Here are some more photos of me posing in my living room. In this look, I took a summery dress and made it winter-appropriate. All I needed was a pair of warm leggings and my trusty green cardigan.




Heal Haiti


This maxi skirt came from the "swap" section on Chictopia-- I didn't have to pay a dime for it!-- and I was really excited about styling it for the first time. Ben told me that I looked like an orthodox Jewish girl with my extra long skirt, which made me feel a little self-conscious, so I paired the skirt with a graphic tee so it would be obvious to observers that I wasn't part of a super strict religious sect. Not that any of that matters, but Ben wore a Stetson hat that day and it did look a little like we were brother and sister coming back from synagogue.




Smile, Damn It!


This mask was a Christmas gift from my Aunt Brenda. I use it when I don't feel like smiling. Just kidding. I got these little lace shorts on sale at a stocking shop to wear under skirts (in case a breeze whisks by I don't end up flashing anyone my panties), but I couldn't resist putting them on for a mini photo shoot. Sookie kept walking into frame and getting her butt photographed. I love her!




So Punk


This look was inspired and built around my Blondie tank top, which I love a lot but haven't worn in a few years. I paired it with a cranberry-colored mini skirt, a pair of white tights, and a pair of black over-the-knee socks for a sexy effect. I also got to wear my guitar pick necklace, which was made for me by my friend Cyn back when we were in college.




What do you think of my looks? I can't tell you how happy I was when I finally had enough strength to get out of bed and get dressed! I know a lot of people love lazing about in their pajamas, but I really do enjoy getting dressed. I also like getting undressed after a long day, but let's not go there right now...

You know you wanna #FF this azz!

#FF on Twitter stands for Follow Friday, a hashtag (or label) that we use only on Fridays to let our followers know who is cool and who deserves to be followed because they are just that interesting. I do not do Follow Friday every week because it feels a little like pandering to me, but every once in a while I will break out the double F and tell my tweeps what's up.

I posted two #FollowFriday tweets this morning:



My rule for Follow Friday is that I only pick Twitterers who give me the time of day. You know, the people who respond to my queries and mentions and who don't act completely full of themselves. It bugs me to no end when I attempt to form a line of communication with another Tweeter only to be ignored. Bitch, please. If I can get a response from a Gold-selling rap artist, then I definitely expect a response from your 44-follower-having-ass when I ask you a question. Is that too harsh? Sorry, it annoys me when people act like celebrities when they clearly are in the same boat as all of us. Rest assured that I'm not talking about any of you lovely people.

How do you feel about Twittiquette (Twitter etiquette) and promotional hashtags like #FF? I'm curious! Would you #FF this azz??

Pay it forward (because you will get presents!!)

I love Kevin Spacey. Cover of Pay it Forward.

My blogger friend Lauren, of Lauren vs. Reality posted something on her blog yesterday that I thought was really cool. It's a giveaway of sorts called "Pay it Forward" and the object is share cool handmade things with your readers. Here are the official rules:


Pay it Forward 2011: I promise to send something handmade to the first 5 people who leave a comment. They must in turn post this and send something they made to the first 5 people who comment. The rules are that it must be handmade by you and it must be sent to your 5 people sometime in 2011. (What a great way to start 2011!!)


Sounds pretty awesome, right? And it's not a crazy giveaway where 400 people enter and only one person has a chance of winning. There will be five winners! And all you have to do is follow me and leave a comment! So easy!! If you are one of the first five to comment, you will get one of the following:


-- a drawing of Anderson Cooper and Kathy Griffin




-- a collage comprised of images cut out of fashion catalogs, with drawings by me on top

-- a postcard with a message on it, written in the style of a delusional neurotic

-- a drawing of a man in a tutu dancing on a stripper pole

-- a series of haiku


Aren't my prizes super enticing?? All of these things will be made by yours truly. Follow, leave a comment and Pay it Forward!! Oh, and don't forget to tell alllll your friends about the wonderfulness that is the Tsaritsa sez!!

Style Notes 1/12/2010

Should I not write political blogs? I want to keep you all entertained, but I also want to be true to myself and be able to rant every once in a while when I feel the urge. Is that okay with you? Or maybe you're just not interested in politics at all. I'm curious to hear your thoughts.



In style news, I just listed a new item on the Chictopia Swap and I thought I would share it with you. The item is a red leather belt with brass clasps in the shape of trees. It's very cute and adds a bit of drama to any outfit.



The last time I listed an item it seemed like it took forever before anyone swooped up and redeemed it, so I'm hoping this belt will be more popular. Someone did eventually shell out for the sweater that I listed last month, and she even featured it on her blog. How special!


I'm really glad she liked the sweater! She surely get more wear out of it than I ever did. I only wore it once or twice, and only to have my photo taken in it. Ha!


Oh yeah, there I am! I would circle my name in red pen if I could!

Something pretty cool happened today-- one of my glamour shots that I posted on Tumblr was reblogged by a fashion lover. I know there are a lot of people who get their posts on Tumblr reblogged a billion times and one little reblog doesn't really mean anything, but it made me feel good regardless.

Democrats Taking Back Patriotism (let's keep it real)

Image via Wikipedia

Bill Maher was on Jay Leno last night and boy have I missed his voice of reason over the winter break.

You may not agree with him, and I don't always agree with what he says, but I appreciate Maher's opinion and sense of humor and he quite often says exactly what I am thinking-- albeit a lot more eloquently.

Leno asked Maher for his take on the recent tragedy in Arizona, where 18 people were shot, six killed, and an assassination attempt was made on Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, now in critical condition due to a gun shot wound to the head.

Maher's response was something I've been saying since this happened: something needs to be done about the way we embrace guns in this country. There is no reason anyone needs a clip that shoots so many rounds, as they're solely designed to kill lots and lots of people. That's all they're good for, and not too long ago it was illegal to sell or buy these "extended clips." They shouldn't be legal now. In fact, all of these assault weapons should be illegal.




Watch this video!

Another point that Bill Maher made was about how Democrats, and all Liberals, should make it their duty to reclaim patriotism. "Paying taxes is patriotic, making sure that every American has Health Care is patriotic..." and he's right.

What's not patriotic is wanting to pay no taxes but then having the audacity to complain about potholes on your roads and the length of time it takes the police to show up at your house. That's not patriotic. If you care about your country, you should pay your fair share. Hell, I don't mind paying my fair share and I don't even have a job, but I realize how important taxes are and all of the good social services they pay for.

I'm going to go off on a tangent, but this reminds me of an argument I got into with some person who said this oxymoron: "I'm socially liberal but I'm fiscally conservative." Sorry, but that doesn't make sense.

If you support helping the public and ensuring that all kids in public schools get a decent education and that police officers make a good salary and poor families get a good meal every day, well you gotta pay for it somehow, right? How do you pay for all of those things? With taxes. Duh.

Conservatives and rich people who don't want to pay taxes usually couldn't give a damn about the kids in public school or crime in the inner cities because it doesn't affect them the way it affects most constituents (it affects us more because we don't have private compounds to hide out in).

My point in this tangent is just, keep it real. If you're a conservative who doesn't think people should pay taxes, don't pretend that you care about serving the public because you don't. And don't give me some lame argument about government waste, because no one is for government waste. And some of the biggest wasters are conservatives, so please. Really.

And you see what I did there? I just listed out all of my thoughts and opinions and though I disagreed with this person, I didn't resort to alluding to shooting them nor did I put a target over their head, or anything like that. Wouldn't it be nice if we could all sit around and argue without breaking out this language of violence?

There has been a lot of talk about it recently in the wake of the Tucson, Arizona shooting, but is anyone going to do anything about it? I will not link the language to the tragedy, because there is no solid proof connecting the two, but just for the sake of it, don't you think people should tone it down?

They probably won't, but they should. There's no reason to resort to violence, even if it's just "rhetorical."

The Expletive Attributives Karaoke Vlogring (the F*ck one)

Greetings and salutations!! Welcome to the third installment of our KARAOKE VLOG RING!!! Today we have some real treats for you, as this month's theme for our karaoke vlogs is the "F" word, and no the "f" doesn't stand for flatulence (though that could be a really great idea for next month's theme). This month we all had to create a video of ourselves singing along to a song that has the word "fuck" in it somewhere.


photo source

Awesome, right? It's good for me because about three-quarters of my music library is laced with expletives, so I definitely had a lot of choices when it came down to picking a song. I think I chose a really good one, though it'll probably surprise you that it is NOT a hip-hop tune. That's all I will say. Oh, and there are orbs in the original video (the quality degraded when I transferred it to Youtube). Some go into my body and there is one that my cat stares at then chases. Pretty creepy. To watch it you'll have to go to Sara Swears A Lot, the blog of Sara, our Worthy Karaoke Leader who really cracks the whip. In a kinky way. Rawr.

Here's my video...

Internet-fluenza

Don't I look pleasant?




Blargh! It seems like all the bloggers I know through these here internets (as well as my boyfriend and 50% of my family) has come down with a nasty case of something. I am not exempt. What this sickness is hasn't been determined It felt like a cold at first, and then I was sure I had meningitis from all the muscle aches and pains I was feeling, then came the nausea, and now I cannot stand up for too long or else I get a dizzy spell. It friggin sucks. I can't even leave the house to pick up a new box of tissues for fear of collapsing in the supermarket. It's pathetic, I know. To top it all off, I have to clean the apartment and have it presentable for Ben's father and brother this evening, who are visiting from South Africa and are leaving tomorrow. Ben wants them to stop by and meet our kitty, which is completely understandable if you've ever met our Sookie. She's the cutest.




So, I guess I'll have to suck it up, take my Mucinex and my Tylenol, stay hydrated, and eat some food that won't liquify my insides. I hope that I find some strength today to do chores, in addition to all the other work I've been putting off since Tuesday. I did manage to put Ben's Facebook Fan page together for the company he is launching, Alphyn Industries. I really hate being sick. It's one thing to choose to stay inside and watch smelly-vision all day, and it's a whole other situation when that is all you are physically able to do. You should pity me right now.

Are you sick too? If so, what have your symptoms been like? Do you think we'll eventually get better?

Holiday Fashions

Here is a look of some of the fashions I wore over this holiday season. I didn't really dress up on New Years Eve because we didn't go out, but anytime we even left the house I made sure I was wearing something snappy. Please enjoy!


My cousin's dalmatian, Cooper. He's such a sweetheart.


My mom got me the sweater and top for Christmas, and I wore them both on Christmas day when we all went crazy in celebrating. I actually wore the cardigan every day during my visit back to Philly. It was cold there!



The day I left, an outfit for air travel. Isn't my mom gorgeous? The t-shirt is fun-- it's an homage to the LOVE statue by Robert Indiana in JFK Plaza in Philly, and for those of you who don't know "jawn" is a Philly slang word which can be used to replace any noun. As in, "Pass me that remote jawn over there," or "Don't eat all the jawns in that bowl!!"





I wore this number out to brunch with Ben before we both left to visit our families.







Wearing bright colors on a gloomy day and showing off the bag that my aunt got for me for Christmas. How did she know I didn't have a proper handbag?

Compensating for something, Mr. Boehner?

Source: New York Times

As if it isn't bad enough that the dude's name looks like it should be pronounced "BONER," Nancy Pelosi made a really funny joke today when handing her Majority Speaker post over. As she presented Mr. Boehner with a very large gavel, she remarked "[it] is larger than most gavels here, but the gavel of choice for Mr. Speaker Boehner." hahaha

Sorry, I have been practically bedbound for the past two days and felt like I should post something. I'll be back with regularly scheduled posts most likely tomorrow. Damn air travel! It almost never fails to make me sick, which brings me to this: If you are sick, do not travel on a plane. Be courteous. At least wear a mask!

The "F" word...

Some of you may know about the vlog ring I participate in monthly, but for those of you who don't: I'm an attention-whore and I like to make videos of myself to post on teh internetz. Every month I join in with my fellow attention-whores and we all make videos of ourselves singing and dancing along to a song that goes with the theme of the month. Last month the theme was show-tunes. This month it's the word "fuck."

I like cursing, but I also know when it's inappropriate and how to hold it back. My mom hates hearing curse words, especially out of the mouth of her oldest child (me). If we're watching a movie and someone says "Fuck!" the next thing I'll hear is a gasp escaping her lips, as if she can't believe that someone in an R-rated movie just swore-- out loud! Suffice it to say that cursing has been something I've kept on the down-low in my life, for fear of disappointing my mother. Zealot that she is, my mom would even chastise the kids on the playground if she heard them using foul language. You can imagine how embarrassing it was for nine-year-old me!

Despite my rocky history with curse words, I enjoy employing them. I try not to put them into practice too often on this blog because I feel like swearing gives people the wrong impression (I don't want my readers thinking I'm some idiot and that "shit" and "fuck" are the only words I know), besides my mom reads my blog and I am not trying to intentionally piss her off. Anyway, I was really excited about this month's theme for karaoke vlogging and so I made a bonus video in addition to my longer piece (to be featured on someone else's blog next week) which I would like to share with you.

A disclaimer first: I really like Eminem. I think he is clever, extremely talented, and usually very funny. I understand that a lot of people do not get his humor and therefore think he is a bigot. I once performed this song at a karaoke club and though I wasn't booed off stage, I might as well have been. Several people left during my performance and the karaoke jockey couldn't wait to get me off the microphone. I don't get it, though. I am a woman and also a feminist. I am not a misogynist and I don't believe Mr. Marshall Mathers is, either. He just has a sick sense of humor, which I greatly appreciate. I can't stop chuckling at times when I recite his lyrics, he's too damn funny.

What do you think of this song?

Resolutions, drawing, and ghost hunting

HAPPY NEW YEAR!! I hope you all had a lovely celebration and that you're not hurting too bad this morning. Last night was a very low-key evening, which was great because that was exactly what I wanted.

My friend Evelynne came over and we set up our own VIP section in my living room. We ate some delicious homemade bean soup (because everyone knows you eat bean soup at a New Year's Eve party, duh...), sipped on mimosas made with Prosecco, made a lot of videos of us just sitting around and chatting, drew some funny pictures, and basically just chilllllled.


Mmmmimosa!


I'm kinda over going out to clubs and getting drizzy all the damn time, and I have found that I'm usually severely disappointed by the crowd who goes out on NYE. I often get stepped all over or wind up with a drink accidentally thrown in my direction, and that is never any fun-- people be crazy! I'm really glad that Evy wanted to stay in, too. It was her idea, actually, and I happily played along. I love having friends who are fine with just sitting around the apartment and being goofy.

Here are some more photos and videos from our little party:


Cheddar, beans, and chips! BALLIN!!!



My interpretation of Kathy Griffin and Anderson Cooper the Silver Fox. I know, it's not the best depiction of them, but use your imagination. Also, I was drawing from memory.



We decided to hunt for ghosts in my apartment. I showed Evy a video I made last week where you can see a bunch of orbs come into frame and disappear. Sookie even chases one for a while. The idea was to perform a ritual to see if any ghosts would show themselves.



Evy drew a portrait of me.



Our Resolutions for the New Year! Also, some very loud noises.


How was your evening? Did you make any resolutions?